What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone Is Grieving
FREE Webinar - Wednesday, April 15 from 6:00 pm to 7:00 pm CT
Someone you care about has suffered a loss. As a supportive friend or family member, you instinctively want to offer comfort but don't know what to say.
Then in a moment of emotional awkwardness and with the best of intentions, you say:
- "He's in a better place."
- "There is a reason for everything."
- "Aren't you over him yet, he has been dead for a while now?"
- "You can have another child still."
- "She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him."
- "I know how you feel."
- "Be strong."
Of course, you meant no harm; however, what you just said was not helpful or supportive.
So, what do you say, and what do you not say when someone is grieving?
When you attend this workshop, you'll learn:
- 64 of the Worst Things You Can Say and How to Avoid Them.
- 64 of the Best Things You Can Say and the Best Ways to Say Them.
- Why Grief is a Journey, NOT a Destination.
- How to "Companion" the Griever on Their Journey Through the Wilderness of Grief.
- Six Common Grief Emotions and How They Impact a Griever's Daily Life.
- How to Deal with the Physical Symptoms of Grief.
- 6 Grief Myths and How They Can Prevent the Griever from Moving Forward.
Grief educator Garrick Colwell will facilitate this workshop. He has completed over 200 hours of study with author and grief expert David Kessler and 180 hours of coursework with grief expert, author, and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transitions, Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Garrick holds a "Death and Grief Studies Certification" from the center.
Garrick is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® and collaborates with Hospice Austin on developing innovative online grief and bereavement support programs.
Healthcare Providers: COVID-19 Advance Care Planning Tools
Respecting Choices®
Health systems who have not yet seen an influx of people with COVID-19 have a window of opportunity to assist with these proactive care planning conversations.
We recognize these types of conversations are new and unfamiliar for many clinicians, and this tool kit is intended to support you. Building on our 20 years of experience and research, Respecting Choices has adapted these tools for use as stand-alone materials, without additional online or in-person educational requirements, and all are specific to COVID-19.
PREPARE for Your Care
In collaboration with our colleagues in the Division of Geriatrics at UCSF, we have put together a COVID-19 Tip Sheet. This includes information about advance care planning, but also planning for medications, pets, bills, and a potential hospital stay.
You will notice that many of the resources are specific to the San Francisco Bay Area and reference the PREPARE for Your Care website and advance directives. You can use this as a template for your preferred advance care planning tools and local services.
Ariadne Labs
To support clinicians in having difficult conversations with patients at high risk for serious complications of COVID-19, Ariadne Labs has developed the Serious Illness Care Program’s COVID-19 Response Toolkit.
Advance Care Planning Decisions
As healthcare professionals and communities respond to the coronavirus outbreak in the United States, it is crucial to have access to reliable and timely information. We have compiled a list of trusted COVID-19 resources that provide clinical guidance, helpful tools and news updates, as well as information geared to patients and communities.
Advance Care Planning - Three Things You Can Do Now
Being Prepared in the Time of COVID-19
This is a challenging time. There are many things that are out of our control. But there are some things we can do to help us be prepared — both for ourselves and the people we care about. Here are three important things each of us can do, right now, to be prepared.
Grief Support Resources
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
Author, educator, and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt is known across North America for his inspirational teaching gifts.
https://www.centerforloss.com/
Articles
Nurturing Hope in Difficult Times
How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus Pandemic
Funeral in the Time of Coronavirus: Thoughts for Families
David Kessler
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
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David Kessler is one of the world’s foremost experts on healing and loss. His experience with people on the edge of life and death has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life – even after life’s tragedies.
Daily Online Grief Support Group on Facebook Live
Grief: Releasing Pain, Remembering Love & Finding Meaning
Article
That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief
Podcast
What's Your Grief
Alan Wolfelt, Ph. D, CT
What's Your Grief
Our mission is to promote grief education, exploration, and expression in both practical and creative ways.
Articles
10 Ideas for Funerals and Memorials When You Can’t Be Together
When You Can’t Be With A Dying Family Member
Please Stop Minimizing the Death of Older Adult
Grieving the Death of an Elderly Loved One
The 3 Ds of Advance Care Planning™ - Start TODAY!
Warm and meaningful conversations take place at kitchen tables across America every day. It’s a safe place for us to discover what we value and explore how to live our lives. Over time we share what we learn, and as we age, we have opportunities to start conversations with our loved ones about how we’d like to live at the end of our life.
According to The Conversation Project 2013 National Survey, 90% of people say that talking with their loved ones about end of life care is important, but only 27% have done so. The result is that too many people are dying in ways they wouldn’t choose, often leaving loved ones feeling guilty and uncertain. No doubt, talking about end of life choices can be tough. However, discussing how you chose to live at the end of life with loved ones and healthcare professionals has proven to ease anxieties and reduce stress – for everyone! The truth is it’s better to have these conversations at the kitchen table than in the Intensive Care Unit during a medical crisis. If how you live at the end of your life matters, then you will want to learn three things;
- How to Decide on what you want and who you want to speak for you if you are unable to speak for yourself.
- How to Discuss your end of life wishes with your loved ones and healthcare professionals.
- How to Document your end of life wishes to make sure everyone is on the same page, literally!
Kitchen Table Conversations offers a FREE workshop that includes a screening and discussion of "Being Mortal" a PBS Frontline Documentary followed by - The 3 Ds of Advance Care Planning - How to Decide, Discuss and Document Your End of Life Wishes™. We invite you to learn how to decide what is most important to you at the end of life, how to have end-of-life conversations with your loved ones and healthcare professionals as well as learn how to document your end-of-life wishes. If you're interested in hosting this workshop series for your company, faith community or special interest group, please call us today at 512-787-3402
FREE In-Depth "The 3 Ds of Advance Care Planning™" Workshops
How to Decide What You Want and Who Will Speak for You If You're Unable
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
The first session will focus on learning the facts and tips necessary to make sound decisions about what your end of life wishes are and who might be the best person to make medical decisions for
you if you are unable to make
them for yourself.
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
During the second session you’ll learn how to openly and honestly discuss your end-of-life wishes with your loved ones and chosen health care agent. Next, we’ll show you how to talk with your health care professionals. Sharing your end-of-life wishes gives everyone a better understanding of
what matters most to you.
How to Document Your End of Life Wishes So Everyone Is On the Same Page
How to Discuss Your End of Life Wishes with Your Loved Ones and Healthcare Professionals
How to Document Your End of Life Wishes So Everyone Is On the Same Page
The third session will be an opportunity to document your end of life choices. Discussion will center around the Directive to Physicians and Family (Advance Directives) and Medical Power of Attorney (Your Healthcare Agent). Questions will be answered however; no legal
advice will be given.
Conversations On Grief - FREE Grief Ed Series Postponed
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
Someone you care about has suffered a loss. As a supportive friend or family member, you instinctively want to offer comfort but don’t know what to say. Then in a moment
of emotional awkwardness and with the
best of intentions, you say:
“He’s in a better place.”
“There is a reason for everything.”
“Aren’t you over him yet, he has
been dead for a while now?”
"You can have another child still.”
"She was such a good person God
wanted her to be with him.”
“I know how you feel.”
“Be strong.”
You meant no harm; however, what you just said was not helpful or supportive.
So, what do you say, and what do you not say when someone -is grieving?
When you attend this workshop,
you'll learn:
·
64 of the Worst Things You Can Say
and How to Avoid Them.
64 of the Best Things You Can Say
and the Best Ways to Say Them.
Why Grief is a Journey, NOT a Destination.
How to “Companion” the Griever on Their Journey Through the Wilderness of Grief.
Six Common Grief Emotions and
How They Impact a Griever’s Daily Life.
How to Deal with the Physical
Symptoms of Grief.
6 Grief Myths and How They Can Prevent
the Griever from Moving Forward.
Grief educator Garrick Colwell will facilitate this workshop. He has completed over 200 hours of study with author and grief expert David Kessler and 180 hours of coursework with grief expert, author, and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transitions, Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Garrick holds a "Death and Grief Studies Certification” from the center.
Garrick is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® and collaborates with Hospice Austin on developing innovative grief and bereavement support programs.
Date
Postponed
Time
10:00 am to 12:00 pm
Location
TBA
Sponsor
AARP of Central Texas
Helping Yourself Heal: First Aid for Broken Hearts
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
Life is both wonderful and devastating. It graces us with joy, and it breaks our hearts. If your heart is broken, this workshop
is for you.
Whether you’re struggling with a death, break-up, illness, unwanted life change, or loss of any kind this workshop will help you both understand your predicament and figure out what to do about it.
Loss may be an unavoidable part of human life, but it doesn’t have to prevent you from living well. You can and will survive this. If you adopt the basic principles, revealed and tested by one of the world’s beloved grief counselors, you’ll learn in this workshop; you will even go on to thrive.
This workshop is based on a book written by Alan D Wolfelt, PH.D. titled First Aid for Broken Hearts.
When you attend this workshop,
you’ll learn:
How to Honor Your Unique Grief
Why Mourning Is the Secret Sauce of Grief
The 3 Degrees of Brokenness and How They Affect Your Healing
How to Triage Your Broken Heart
How to Find Short-Term Care
Where to Go for Long-Term Care
How to Let the Mending Begin
Alan D Wolfelt, Ph.D., is a respected author and educator on the topics of companioning others and healing in grief. He serves as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition. He is on the faculty at the University of Colorado Medical School’s Department of Family Medicine, Dr. Wolfelt has written many bestselling books on healing and grief, including Understanding Your Grief, Healing Your Grieving Heart, and The Mourner’s Book of Hope. Visit www.centerforloss.com to learn more.
Attendees will receive a FREE copy (value $9.95) of Dr. Wolfelt’s new book,
First Aid for Broken Hearts.
Grief educator Garrick Colwell will facilitate this workshop. He has completed over 200 hours of study with David Kessler and 180 hours of coursework with grief expert, author, and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transitions, Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Garrick holds a "Death and Grief Studies Certification” from the center.
Garrick is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® and collaborates with Hospice Austin on developing innovative grief and bereavement support programs.
Date
Postponed
Time
10:00 am to 12:00 pm
Location
TBA
Sponsor
AARP of Central Texas
Finding Meaning After Loss
What to Say and What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving
Finding Meaning After Loss
Grief is extremely powerful. It’s easy to get stuck in your pain and remain bitter, angry, or depressed. Grief grabs you by the heart ad doesn’t seem to let go.
But if you can manage to find meaning in even the most senseless loss, you can do more that get unstuck. When circumstances are at their worst, you can find your best.
You can keep growing and finding ways to live a good and someday even joyful life, one enriched by the lessons and love of the person who died.
The search for meaning after a loss will lead each of us along divergent paths.
This workshop is based on a book written by world-renowned grief expert and author, David Kessler titled, Finding Meaning, The Sixth Stage of Grief.
When you attend this workshop,
you’ll learn:
Why the 6 Stages of Grief Were Never Meant to Be Linear
What Is Meaning Making in Grief
Types of Meaning Making
How Meaning Making Can Help You Remember the Person Who Died with More Love Than Pain
Why Meaning Making is the Key to Recovery from Grief
The Keys to Finding Acceptance and Moving into Meaning Making
Why Post-Traumatic Growth Is an Important Part of Meaning Making
David Kessler is one of the world’s foremost experts on healing and loss. He is the author of five bestselling books on grief. He co-authored the two bestsellers: On Grief and Grieving and Life Lessons with the legendary Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.
In 2016, David’s youngest son died suddenly at 21 years old. He shares his very personal journey of loss and healing in his new book Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Visit www.grief.com to learn more.
Attendees will receive a FREE copy (value $17.00) of David Kessler’s new book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.
Grief educator Garrick Colwell will facilitate this workshop. He has completed over 200 hours of study with author and grief expert David Kessler and 180 hours of coursework with grief expert, author, and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transitions, Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Garrick holds a "Death and Grief Studies Certification” from the center.
Garrick is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist® and collaborates with Hospice Austin on developing innovative grief and bereavement support programs.
Date
Postponed
Time
10:00 am to 12:00 pm
Location
TBA
Sponsor
AARP of Central Texas
FREE "Being Mortal" Screening and Discussion
"The two big unfixables are aging and dying..."
Based on the best-selling book "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End." by Dr. Atul Gawande, this film explores the hopes of patients and families facing a terminal illness, their relationships with their doctors, and the care they receive near the end of their lives. The film follows Dr. Gawande as he shares stories from the people and families he encounters.
After the screening, there is a facilitated discussion about actions you can take to communicate your health care decisions.
If you're interested in hosting a FREE 90-minute "Being Mortal" screening and discussion for your company, faith community or special interest group, please call us today at
512-787- 3402
A Beginner's Guide to the End
A practical, compassionate, and comprehensive guide to dying—and living fully until you do.
“There is nothing wrong with you for dying,” palliative care doctor B.J. Miller and Shoshana Berger write in A Beginner’s Guide to the End. “Our ultimate purpose here isn’t so much to help you die as it is to free up as much life as possible until you do.”
Theirs is a clear-eyed and big-hearted action plan for approaching the end of life, written to help readers feel more in control of an experience that so often seems anything but controllable. Their book offers everything from step-by-step instructions for how to do your paperwork and navigate the healthcare system to answers to questions you might be afraid to ask your doctor, like whether or not sex is still okay when you’re sick. You’ll be walked through how to break the news to your employer, whether to share old secrets with your family, how to face friends who might not be as empathetic as you’d hoped, and to how to talk to your children about your will. (Don’t worry: if anyone gets snippy, it’ll likely be their spouses, not them.) There are also lessons for survivors, like how to shut down a loved one’s social media accounts, clean out the house, and write a great eulogy.
An honest, surprising, and detailed-oriented guide to the most universal of all experiences, A Beginner’s Guide to the End is the one book that everyone needs.